We should always know that we can do anything.

I fell head over heels in love with Go Do by Jonsi a few weeks ago.


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Running home, running home, running home, running. Home.

It drives me absolutely crazy every time that I forgot to capitalize the 'm' in I'm. And yes, you would not have noticed that if I hadn't said.

And so though love may not inspire my lingo, still it's making my heart go BANG-o BING-o.



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Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole.

A lot can be said with this format. So I rolled with it.




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Let me give you the low down:

I don't want to go back to real life. In fact, if I could completely avoid it I would do so whole heartedly. And in a way I am avoiding real life. And that feels amazing. I'm not going back to school. I'm not going to force myself to be friends with people who I don't want to be. I'm not going to limit myself by telling myself if I don't do this my life won't be as full. Being an introvert is completely okay. And I plan on embracing that.

I miss being whoever I wanted to be. The hardest thing was knowing that upon coming home things would be exactly the same. The same people. The same situations. The same everything. And the only way I can even comprehend dealing with it is distancing myself from it as much as possible. I just want to get away from all of it. And then sometimes I wonder if I'm just running away from my problems..but I try to tell myself that I'm not. I have exhausted all of my other resources. And I am so happy to not be going back to public school. That maybe I can remain myself, and remain whoever I want to be. 

And maybe through all of this I can stay with all of the amazing people I met. All of the people who seem to deal with all of the same things I do. I think the best thing in the world would be for all of us to go to one school; that would certainly be the most amazing thing that could possibly happen. Then none of us would have to deal with any of it. 

I guess I just miss camp is all. But camp meant something so much more to me. It was people knowing me with no preconceived notions. It was getting away from all of the baggage that home comes with. It was making the best friend I will probably ever have {seeing how all of my past best friendships have gone}. It was meeting people who I could relate to; whose two priories, church and theater, were the same as mine. It was learning and growing so much in so many different parts of my life. 

I guess the most important part of it all for me was that I don't have to be alone. That maybe I have to be while I am here. But out there somewhere there are people who see me, and value me not just for being quirky, or dressing uniquely, or anything temporal; but who value my divine worth. Who value me. And understand, and relate, and even through all of the deep stuff we still enjoy the same goofy temporal things like Gilmore Girls, or Invader Zim, or Flight of the Concords. And to any of you who are reading this: don't think I'm going to give you up without a fight:)

I never want to go back into the "real world". I loved where I was in my life for those two weeks too much to do that to myself again. 

I haven't had a good rant like this in a long time. 

I'm k-ra-zy for you!

♥

much love;

Wow, it's been a while since I Much Love Mondayed. I realized I wanted to blog today then was looking at the ones I follow and the thought of it occurred to me. I actually had to check to make sure it was indeed Monday. Things have been..silly lately. But I suppose things are always silly. Wow, that really sucks. Anyways, that's the reason for my lame posting. I'll try to write more on my posts on those rare occasions when I do post. Remaining positive right now sounds like a good idea. *deep breath* ..so here we go.


Loving: Sambaing ♥ Chitty Chitty Bang Bang ♥ Water For Elephants (The Book, Not The Movie. Don't See The Movie) ♥ Having The Sun Out Long Enough To Get A Burn ♥ Girls Named Kaylynn ♥ Concert Choir ♥ What About Bob ♥ Gill, My Betta Fish ♥ Named After Gill The Goldfish In What About Bob ♥ Being Honest ♥ The Anticipation Of Death Cab's New CD ♥ Vegetable Pizza ♥ Being Alone In Public Places ♥ Reading A Lot ♥ Writing In Margins ♥ Planning My Future To A Tee ♥ The Music From Crazy For You ♥ The Fact That This Tab/Window Has Crashed/Been Closed Twice Now Is Not Stopping Me From Writing It ♥ Leaving School Early ♥ Theater Performances Vs. Prom ♥ Thinking About Painting ♥ The Clammy Hands Club ♥ Play Dates ♥ Getting Lost ♥ Programing Radio Stations ♥ Pure Irony ♥ Trying To Find The Chocolate Jelly Bean ♥ Cleaning ♥ Hail At Four In The Morning ♥ The Squishy Red Folding Chairs At Church ♥ Real Jelly Beans, Not Easter Jelly Beans ♥ French Snakes With Itty Bitty Mustaches Named Pierre ♥ Other Snakes Named Guadalupe And Princess Beyonce ♥ Bonfire Bonding ♥ Thinking About Summer ♥ Jeans That Have Never Felt Good Before ♥ 





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I came along, I wrote a song for you.

This is like much love Monday on steroids.

loving: blustery days in the hundred acre wood ♥ new schedules and classes ♥ minty gum ♥ Asian tea ♥ orange blossom honey ♥ late night texting ♥ oodles of sweaters ♥ classic bangs ♥ paper hearts ♥ glitter and things in the like ♥ old photography ♥ eating pants ♥ white headphones ♥ cough drops ♥ long socks ♥ braiding hair ♥ plastic clips ♥ not pretending ♥ soup du jour hot hors devours ♥ character shoes ♥ longs sleeves ♥ back stage shenanigans ♥ the word 'lackadaisical' ♥ semicolons; sleeping in until 12 ♥ long hair ♥ cleaning ♥ talking about Glee ♥ going off campus for lunch ♥ rehearsing ♥ temple trips ♥ saying the perfect words ♥ Value Village dresses ♥ quoting Disney ♥ the song Human Again ♥ making valentines with crayons ♥ shows ♥ Valentines Day parties from elementary school ♥ journals ♥ Ticonderoga pencils ♥ BSing AP classes ♥ singing along to movies ♥ elephants ♥ scented stickers ♥ cheesecake ♥ little black rain clouds ♥ thinking about writing songs again ♥ fake glasses ♥ Subway ♥ banshees and fruit ♥ tupperware ♥ coconut water ♥ mindilin monsters ♥ baked goods ♥ best friends who are real best friends ♥ really long acronyms ♥ making fun of Justin Bieber ♥ Valentines Day ♥

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Every Mormon and every saint..

I realized yesterday that Valentines Day is tomorrow. Valentines Day is my favorite, and I'm not quite sure why. I don't believe in love. I think chick flicks are unrealistic and silly. But I love Valentines Day. Conversation hearts are my absolute favorite, pink and red together are so cute, paper strings of hearts, glitter everywhere, those mystery chocolate boxes that never come with a flavor guide so you're left looking for the coconut one for forever.. I've always loved it. Last year in English we wrote poems and decorated them with glitter and doilies and such things. Favorite assignment. I wrote a 2 1/2 page ballad for my best friend who pointed out to me probably a week before that all my poems have sad endings. So I wrote her one with a happy{er} ending. I put puffy stickers on it and glitter and Spongebob and Patrick stickers on the envelope. And Valentine cards are so fun. But all of this at the same time you'll never catch me watching The Sound of Music, or Pride and Prejudice, maybe The Notebook every once and a while and even less of a once in a while Titanic. My kind of love movies are indie, like Paper Heart or Where the Wild Things Are, which doesn't really count. I don't even believe in true love, but it's my favorite holiday. Upon realizing how close and unprepared I was I took a bunch of pictures for tomorrow:) I hope you're ready.


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The Color Code

 So one of my favorites books is The Color Code by Taylor Hartman, which I highly recommend to everyone. It's a personality profile and you take a quiz at the beginning to determine your "core color" and "secondary colors". The four different colors represent four different personalities. One's core color is their core personality which they cannot change, the secondary colors are traits {good or bad} from the other colors mixed into the core color. My core color is blue, and my secondaries are white then yellow {the fourth color is red, and I am not red at all}. Lately I've been trying to figure out what has made me who I am, so I thought rereading this book would help with that. As I was reading it this morning came across this paragraph and really liked it.

"Blues see the world through positive and healthy emotional eyes as well. They care deeply for those elements of living that tug at their hearts. Weddings, parades, and birthdays are great cause for celebration, but Blues even see beyond the events and take time to reflect on the lives of those involved. They think of their own weddings and what it means to be in love. They consider all the hours it takes to prepare the costumes and mechanics of a parade as it passes by. Blues wonder how their aging grandmother feels on her seventieth birthday, and are mesmerized by a three-year-old blowing out candles on a cake. They "make" time for sharing the important moments of life."


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{because I feel like reposting} Listening:

Breathe this air deeply, sister,
For they stand around you;
The trumpets in the crickets,
And the choirs in the dew.

Feel my arms encircling you in the sun.
Let it warm your most secret scars.
Let them fade and erase
On your face and arms.

Lie in the whispering quiet, my sister,
And I will run the hands I scarred for you
Out of raw, pure, perfect love,
With forgiveness over your cuts and bruises.

Lie in the sighing grass, sister,
And rest your tired eyes
Which have looked and seen too much,
But whose hope never dies.

Do you hear me whisper, sister?
I know that you try,
And I know that it’s hard,
But know that I hear you when you cry.



♥

more 2010!

I really like this one.

So, pretty much I was just messing around editing this one and it turned out fantastic and exploded. It was pretty cool. So I thought I'd repost.

I just really like the colors and perspective of this one. That's Alaska down there. While we were at this point my brother said, 'Hey look, there's an airplane down there..that was weird sounding..' We were high up.

I like this one. I like graffiti that actually says interesting stuff rather than the regular swear words or SALLY <3S JUSTIN BIEBER! I found this little gem under a bridge while taking pictures while my friends were swimming.

 This was at the same placeish as the last one. My friend found a little dead fish in the water and scooped it up and put it on a rock and I started taking pictures of it. They thought I was weird, but I really like how this turned out. I only thought of the lyrics and speech bubble recently and thought to myself, 'perfect!' when paired together. My sister took one look at it and said, "Kaylyn...he's not floating.." No, Andrea, no he's not.

Cake soup. The ultimate cure-all-epic-win.



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:)

The next few day will be my favorite pictures from 2010. Some silly, some pretty..but mostly silly:) These are mostly the pictures that didn't fit in my 2010 overview in pictures..but were still very much worth sharing..some for a second time.

I love these daisies! They were purple in the middle and progressively got more yellow towards the outside of the petals. Then I found the same daisies except opposite! So I planted both..then they died. But one day I was outside and noticed they'd come back to life! I can't decide whether to make a Jesus or zombie reference..

I like this picture because it's simple, and I didn't think that much of it until Sheena from The Layered Pancake featured it first on her blog.

This is from my friends and I little attack on our other friends room. The TV is om nomming a Veggie Tales cassette, get it?:D

We labeled a lot of things..This one was my idea, and I'm pretty proud of it:)

"What the hell am I supposed to do with a crying lobster?!"

Kirstie got me this ring:) My nephew likes it. That was also the day we discovered how amazing Toy Story 3 is and shared dinosaur silly bands. It was a good day.

 

I like this sketch. It was like a bunch of mini sketchlettes that would have been lonely on their own. It also saved room in my sketch book which was nice. 

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2010 in pictures

Yuck, this is painted so horribly. It was pretty much like my worst nightmare coming true. That I am finally satisfied with a sketch and I paint it and it competently ruins it and changes the appearance. Ugh. Inspired by youth committee XD.

This one wasn't originally intended to be so...explosive. But I drew it, then I came home one day and was like, "I NEED TO PAINT THAT NOW." And I did. And this is how I felt. So I changed my original vision to cater to my newly changed view of the situation.

Best friends always know when to show up with cupcakes at your door:)

Cake solves everything that soup cannot.

I wrote a much needed letter to myself. When I become particularly preoccupied with a frillion things and am overwhelmed by the idea of..everything, or just 'something' in general I find it helpful to write myself a letter in this style. I've done it before, but it was handwritten..and private. I was just already on the computer when I decided I needed it, so I thought to myself, "Kyle, {that's what I call myself} why not just write and post it on my blog, then I will see it whenever I'm on the computer as well as printing it out." So I did.

My friends and I went to Woods and Haggens a lot. Especially on half days to party. They decided to write on my cup once, it's from Spongebob.
Spongebob: "Bye, Squidward! Bye, Mr. Krabs! Byyee Squidwaarrd;)"
Patrick: "You said 'Bye, Squidward twice.."
Spongebob: "I liiiike Squidward;)"

After watching Elf my brother and I decided to elf our house while our parents were out. We used Seventeen magazine pages and floss because I was afraid of wasting printer paper and yarn. We made a lot.

 

We went to Seattle to celebrate one of my friends' 16th birthday on Wednesday and Thursday. We shopped at H&M, Anthropologie, and Urban Outfitters. Expensive. Then we went to Pike Place. I got floral pants and bacon chocolate!

And that pretty much sums up my year of 2010 in pictures!:)

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2010 in pictures

I read The Secret Life of Bees over the summer. New favorite book. I. Love. It. 

This is the local fair. I went twice, once with a big group of people but me and my other single friend pretty much hung out the whole time. Then we went back to her house halfway through because it was super hot and ate a ton of bacon. Then we went back. This was taken on the second day I went with Kirstie which was the day we went on a ton of rides. This was also the first year I'd ever been to the fair. We met up with our three other friends and made a little group of fair funness. 

That is Rick Springfield over there on that stage somewhere.. We were too cheap to buy tickets to the arena to see him, but getting on the ferris wheel worked out pretty well. We didn't hear him play Jessie's Girl, and Kirstie and I were pretty much peeing our pants with excitement over it. Our three guy friends didn't care about him in the least. Lame.

We hit the ferris wheel right at sunset! I can check that off of my list of things to do in my life:)

Out door cinema:) I believe this one was The Blindside. There was also Where the Wild Things Are and The Wizard of Oz.

During the summer me and my two friends who I live between were bored. So we made inspirational signs and posted them on all the business bulletin boards we could find in town.

I drew this, it's inspired by Mari:)

 

Also inspired by Mari.

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missing: summer

happy much love monday:)

loving: looking at my pictures from summer ♥  short  bangs ♥ Seattle adventures ♥ blogging friends ♥ my new camera ♥ anticipating adventures ♥ mutual dislikes of annoying people ♥ feeling like a secret club ♥ dreams about Joseph Gordon-Levitt loving me:) ♥ my brother acknowledging the premonition I had of him marrying Zooey Deschanel ♥ massive books of Fox Trot comics ♥ the possibilities in a blank sketchbook ♥ Marc Johns shirts ♥ sweaters inherited from my brother ♥ horcruxes ♥ thinking about old friends ♥ rereading my favorite books ♥ giving the perfect gift ♥ playing with my food ♥ leftovers ♥ having a whole slew of new movies ♥ the fourth season of Boy Meets World ♥ making snowflakes out of old Seventeen magazine pages with my brother ♥ elfing my house with said snowflakes ♥ pineapple chap stick ♥ peach chap stick gifts ♥ getting a letter from a new missionary ♥ writing a new missionary a letter ♥ plaid paper ties ♥ ignoring homework assigned over the break ♥ reading a book about cake that turns out to be the trippiest book I've ever read ♥ Narrow Stairs ♥

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