Help,

I'm alive.

And my heart

keeps beating

like a hammer.

~Help I'm Alive by Metric

For the past few weeks I've felt like there's too many thoughts in my head, just jangling around in there like a whole bunch of spare keys. Like I don't know what to think about, but there's too much at the same time. There are some things just sitting in there. I'm not really thinking about them, but they're just sitting in there; making sure that I'm always conscious of their presence. I feel like someone unraveled a whole skein of Christmas red yarn and stuffed it into my head all jumbled. It makes me want to pull on the end of it; pull it from out from my stomach. And as I pull it it'll tug a little where it passes directly through my heart. It's just twisting around inside of me, inside of my empty. I don't like it. It feels too silly.

♥